Could you cry a little more, plz? ~ Thieves Guild

[Anne]

Look, this is the wasteland, it's full of assholes and people that would slit their mom's throat for a fix of jet. That being said, not all of us are sociopaths and assholes. We're like to introduce ourselves... to your pockets and hearts... we are The Thieves Guild.

Who we are:

Wormsign - Professional troll and leader of the Thieves Guild. Ability to make things blow up and a master of locking in people into buildings but this practice has been outlawed by The Sheriff.

Anne - First member of the Thieves Guild. I stole from anyone and everyone until I met Hugs. Hugs told me we should roleplay Robin Hood instead because it's funner, and I agreed. Now we only steal from players who look like they are experienced and leave the newbies alone. We help the newbies that are NOT entitled pricks. We steal from rich players and help newbies start out with weapons/armor/tents whatever they need. I am also in charge of our guild's PR.

TooDrunkToFuck - The #1 thief in the game. Known for being totally awesome and not giving any fucks. He steals your shit and throws it in random directions cuz he couldn't care less about the newbie shit you bitches are carrying.

Hugs - Our best thief who came up with our Robin Hood roleplay idea so now we help newbies as a result. She also came up with the idea for the toll so that people who donate to the Thieves Guild Newbie fund are protected for periods of time depending on size of donation. She has good ideas. She roleplays a drug addict that steals to feed her habit.

Cindy - Our stealthiest thief but she left to fight the 9 ghouls all by herself because she is better than that whole newbie clan of losers.  We call upon her when there is a particularly annoying person we don't like since she is an excellent thief that taught even us experienced thieves a few tricks of the trade.

Seth Putnam - New thief that we're training and he is still leveling up but shows great promise.

Non-associate neutral party thieves:
Woerth - He is OK and we are cool with him but he is obsessed with stealing from NPCs and doesn't have our attitude. He steals for items but we all realize stealing is VERY unrewarding in this game and it's more of a roleplay activity. Much more profitable to mine or locker-hunt.

Shitlist:
Ranother/Reznik - dual-log suicide bombing piece of shit that kills newbies when trying to kill us due to his ineptness and 1cm cock
Suka - Epic fail thief in the hub that gives thieves a bad name due to his ineptness

Allied Faction: The Iron Hand -> strong Polish mercenaries that kill our enemies, we don't steal from them.

Benefactors that have donated alot that we will never steal from:
Henry
Sara
Lindeed
Gimper

In summary, if you are a whiny bitch and cry when we steal from you and have gotten to used to the wasteland and forgot it's a harsh environment... we are going to liberate your inventory and help newbies that deserve it by giving it to them. If you are cool with us and donate to the Thieves Guild Newbie Fund, you earn free passes to the Hub and Junktown where we operate for certain periods of time.

If you are a super piece of shit, we will have our friends 1hex or C4 you. If you're cool and nice to newbies, we'll probably let you use our shops for awhile.