Pathetic low lifer.
Chew a bullet.
For respective COMPETENT gamers? You have... "Interesting" standards.
You are just a sad example of how low a human can go when denying and deflecting it's own failure and lack of quality life choices.
I recommend, to meditate and find your inner self, the image you give of seems utterly disturbed and disrupted - combined with a lack of common level of brain matter wich is god given and I cannot judge you on.
Or.. keep being the pimple on the arse of society. Not like it affects my life overly much. Well okay, I give you that much, you kind of underline/justify, my decision of becoming a better person back in the day, when my freedom was taken forcefully.
Surely not perfect, but I do not bend, bow, play the victim or pull excuses.
Grow up.
Grow a face on your head.
Become someone.
Or remain a sinking ship.